By Brian Lee
At the risk of alienating readers and friends, I ask:
What is appropriate cellphone use?
They’ve been around for awhile but apparently not long enough to establish a standard of etiquette for their use. And it’s created a rift. Not between Berners and Trumpists or fans of Nicki Minaj and Miley Cyrus, but between people who take their phones everywhere and those who do not. I fall in the latter camp. Actually, it’s stronger than that — I felt empathy for that retired cop in Florida who shot a guy for texting in a movie theatre.
I own an iPhone and appreciate having Internet access anywhere I go. I also appreciate my cat but when I’m dining out, I leave her at home.
This social absurdity has crept into dinner parties and onto restaurant tables everywhere but science has yet to explain why only some of us see it. Like the kid in Sixth Sense who sees dead people, I see inappropriate smartphone use.
It’s a woeful affliction. I can’t help but notice people faking lively engagement with friends while holding a screen in front of their face, pretending to be present while they check Facebook and text. And please, if you don’t see a problem here, stop reading now — otherwise it will be awkward next time our eyes meet at the Grasshopper while you send a text reassuring your kid that you’ll avert the crisis by picking up bananas on the way home. I see some nodding — I’m not the only one, am I?
After dining out, I’ve returned home to learn dinner companions were commenting on Facebook while we socialized. Of course I noticed them typing into their screens but I hoped their kid had been mauled by a dog or suffered some other exceptional emergency. No, I am so boring that friends would rather "like" a status update than listen to a story about the time I met David Duchovny at Starbucks.
Here’s a scenario I witnessed recently in a restaurant.
Three adults, two kids:
Two adults and two kids were so completely focused on their screens that the third adult pulled out hers so as not to be left out. Yes, I was judging and badly wanted to document the fascinating scene with a photograph.
There’s plenty of cell phone etiquette advice on the net and it’s pretty much unanimous:
Turn them off or leave them in the car when out with others. Yet scan the tables next time you’re out and you’ll find more cellphones than cutlery.
I took up golf (for the second time) last year. It’s a game with a reputation for longstanding codes of etiquette. Since I hadn’t played for 20 years, I was unsure of how the sport tolerated cellphone use on the course. But it didn’t seem right that I should hear the ding from an incoming text while preparing to tee off. Or, with a foursome bearing down from behind, to wait while one of ours attempts to swing one-handed on the fairway — while holding a cellphone to his ear.
So, I wait politely, unsure if I’m just intolerant or if these people really do need a friendly beat-down.
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